11 posts tagged “wedding spam of the week”

The Groom

The groom has important responsibilities too. Make sure yours doesn't drop the ball on these traditional tasks. Tuxes: Introduce him to the advantages of online tuxedo shopping. Favors: Get his input on choosing favors by showing him photos of your top picks. Gifts: Steer him toward personalized presents for his groomsmen and parents. Transportation: Put him to work researching limos, horse-drawn carriages, and other ways to make a grand exit. Tell him about our online Local Directory, where he can find tux shops, favor and gift vendors, and car rental companies in your area.

Another "gem" from the Wedding Channel!  Catch the whole series here.

This is classic, and may encompass 80% of the bullshit of the wedding culture and industry.  Have a read of this text that came from the Wedding Channel:

Your Wedding Day Look
There's no other day in your life when looking your best will be more important than on your wedding day.  Make sure you're as beautiful as you can be in every way that counts.

• View the work of local hairstylists and makeup artists to find those that fit your style.
• Invest time in searching for the perfect accessories, because jewelry can make or break your whole look.
• Take dance lessons with your fiance to make sure the two of you look like pros during your first dance.

I can think of 9 or 10 things funny, wrong, or irritating here.  But I think I'll just let the cheese stand alone.  Sheesh.

More junk Wedding Spam of the Week from the WeddingChannel!  I think the only reason I haven't unsubscribed from these is the entertainment factor.  Here's one from a few days ago:

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This is the 8th installment in a series.

Yesterday I went down to get the mail, and saw in there an invitation-sized (A-7) envelope, with my name printed on there in a cursive font.  Immediately, I thought, "Huh, a wedding invitation.  I wonder whose?"  But there were two confusing things.  A) Anyone who knows me would also know John-Patrick, and his name wasn't on the invite.  And B) Who lives in Aurora? 

So I opened it:

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Alas, it wasn't an invite, but an invitation to get Lasik before the Big Day.  I've blurred it out, but it had my full name printed on the top, as well as a special internet address to take advantage of this offer.

Am I doing it?  No.  But was it an easy 8th installment of my occasional series, Wedding Spam of the Week?  Yes.

You know you've missed it!

Today I got an email titled: "What To Do 28 Weeks From Your Wedding".  Knowing it was coming from the Wedding Channel, it's not like I expected quality.  But given how panicked I've been lately about getting everything done and figuring out how to pay for it, I opened it up hoping for at least a nugget of wisdom or sanity.

Here's what I got:

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It's basically one big ad, with a very common question at the end, that you have to click on a sponsor to have answered.

It is NOT "What To Do 28 Weeks From Your Wedding"

And it is NOT "Engaging News", no matter how punny that may be.

And so, it is perhaps the definition of Wedding Spam, and my 7th installment for the Series.

Another one from The Knot:

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Also, I like how they emphasize that this is a replica diamond.

This morning I got an email for Rock Star Bride!

Rock star bride

From the website: "Our mission is simple: Give brides something cute and comfortable to wear while getting ready for her big day. So much goes into picking the perfect dress and accessories, that you forget about what you are wearing before the wedding. There are alot of photos being taken during that part of the day! We promise to bring hip yet comfortable products to brides to keep them feeling like a celeb on their big day. Not without a little attitude of course.... Cheers! Rock*STAR*Bride"

I have been surprised by how many sites there are trying to sell me clothing.  To me this is just a bunch of junk.  But the funny thing is that it's so front-loaded, in the email I got via the Knot, by this really elaborate site, which you can't even get back to on the merchandise page, which seems to be the only page that does anything other than describe a rock star bride.  Weird.  Pointless to me.  And this week's winner of the Wedding Spam of the Week.

More products to which I say no:

Soon to be

Jason's bride

I had a feeling this would be an ongoing series.  I get lots and lots of wedding spam, but I'm trying to only blog the ones that are somehow noteworthy. 

The most recent batch of wedding spam has come as a result of the "Bridal" Show (note: not "Wedding" Show) that we attended last Saturday in Grand Rapids.  Evidence of the "Weddings are for Women" phenomenon: set of chairs set up in front of a TV with college football on.  John-Patrick kindly posed for the photo on that one, although it was also a fun photo because his stepdad's family are all big Auburn fans:

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We went because we were looking for info on local vendors, particularly for items where we had no clue or connection.  (And actually, this worked, as we recently booked our DJ based on the guys there who happened to be both the least obnoxious and the least expensive.)  So we were glad we went.

One thing, though, is that I made the mistake of signing up for as many drawings as possible.  At the time, my thinking was : "Hey, we can't afford a honeymoon, maybe we could get one this way!" or "Heck, a free DJ would save us a lot of money!"  Wrong.

In the 10 days since the Wedding Bridal Show, I have won a total of three grand prizes!!!!!!!!!  Here's what that really means:

1. A free honeymoon, of which I was immediately skeptical, was, upon further discussion, a condo timeshare.  It was so crooked: The woman who called me worked so hard to impart enthusiasm and excitement, I immediately knew it was a scam.  I was skeptical enough to see through it, but what a shitty job she has --calling each and every one of the people who signed up for this drawing... you could just tell when she took the pause for me to scream and yell and cry with excitement.  Instead, I said, "Yeah, but this is one of those things where everyone wins, right, because you're trying to sell us a timeshare?"  [pause]  "This is not a timeshare."  Yes it was.  Today, one week later, another person from the same place called with no reference to caller number one, to tell me that I had won.  Once again, I was the only winner!!!  I got off the phone with her a lot faster.
2. This weekend a very bored and gruff sounding man called to inform me that I had won the grand prize of "free appetizers and desert" from a very crappy-sounding catering company.  I just said thanks but we already have a caterer.  He was quick to get off the phone, too.
3. Today I get this in the mail:
   

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I may start a semi-regular feature on this blog: the wedding spam of the week!

Here is this week's:
I have to admit that when I got this in my email the other day, I thought it was a joke.  It's not that I don't like the idea of speaking to brides politically.... but.... Uh.....

There's actually a lot of gender analysis to be had here.  But maybe I'll save that for another day.  After all, it's Friday.